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The BondFire

The BondFire interview series is an open discussion with our community which enables you to discover the city of LA through their recommendations and experiences. All of our conversations are produced in an intimate and accepting environment. 


An Open Letter To Men: “Women Move The World Forward”.


Please note that as you read this post, know that it was created from the perspective of a man. Most of the time when you read, or hear discussions involving the topic of women it’s far too often coming from the perspective of a woman. Before you make any snap judgements please understand that I say this because there are not enough male advocates out there supporting women in their journey to success. By the end of this post, I will identify myself in a link to my personal profile, but I don’t want to distract any of the readers from the topic at hand.

I would like to begin by identifying a few brilliant, and amazing reasons why I think they help move the world forward. Additionally I will add in a little about how women have affected me on a personal level, and why having them in our lives makes us better.

They think differently than we do as men. I currently hold the position of the Director of User Experience design for an international Chinese, American software company, and when I look to hire “User Experience Designers” for my team, I always have a personal bias toward female designers. Please note that I do interview, and hire men as well, but there are things that I always consider when hiring anempathetic designerUser Experience design requires us to think on a deeper, more critical level then other design practices. Men are known to have the ability to focus on a single task, and execute that task to the best of his ability which makes men great leaders in this regard, though from my own experience, I have seen that woman have the ability to juggle various personal tasks, while still being able make high-level decisions daily.

According to Dr. Jim Horne , Britain’s leading expert in sleep science, in an article published by the Daily Mail, Horne explained that on average women need twenty more minutes of sleep than men. The researcher pointed out that women tend to multi-task and use more of their actual brain than men leading to a greater need for sleep. Essentially, the more you use your brain during the day, the more it needs to rest while asleep.

One of my best professional experiences was when I had the opportunity to work with a creative director who was in fact a woman. Perhaps, I am a maternal individual (“momma’s boy”) at heart, but when she spoke I listened. Not to say that the other male figures in my life didn’t have an impact, because they did, and still do, but it was much easier to receive and process information when it came from a woman. I believe that women are natural care givers, and their approach to directives can be at times less assertive, and easier to process. Perhaps this can be attributed to the reception of estrogen versus testosterone in men.

Women have been through centuries of adversity, and still today they stand stronger than ever. I must admit, I don’t necessarily mind Donald Trump being our president. In fact there’s nothing we can do about it, other than hope he can lead our country in the right direction. The only thing that disappoints me is that we have someone who is leading our country that we have repeatedly seen on camera, and in the public eye, objectifying women. As a man with 7 sisters (5 older, 2 younger), it’s not something I could ever support, hence I voted for Hillary Clinton.

Everyday women inspire us to be greater. I tell my friends, and past clients this all of the time. “There has never been a greater time to be a woman”. I was lucky enough to be the product manager, and designer for a project called Heyoo, a few years back. After working on so many projects, and startups I was mentally ready to throw in the towel. Though, I realized quickly that this project wasn’t going to be like the other projects. This project had personality, fire, passion, and a little bit of insanity (the right kind). The owner, and founder was a woman named Linda Frank. She is a mother of 2 children, living just south of Irvine, California. What I loved most about this project is that she didn’t take no for an answer, she was obsessive, and couldn’t function without thinking, talking or strategizing this project.

Did it get old, absolutely, but there’s no one like her, and she demanded respect from her peers. She is currently still on her the journey of building her product, and making it great, but I loved the fact that for her everything she was doing felt so natural, and organic. It was a breath of fresh air to be honest, and talking to her was easy because it truly felt like I was talking to a friend. The point of telling her story is that at a certain point when you work with passionate people, the idea of that person being a man, or a woman totally go out of the window. She could have been transgender, it would not have made a difference, this was a woman with a plan, a woman on a mission, and a woman with purpose.

Regardless of what you’ve taken from this piece, the most important thing that you should know is that woman are fierce, beautiful creatures that deserve your attention. There is nothing more powerful than a woman who walks into a room, and can command your respect and attention without ever saying a word. A women knows what she wants, how she wants it, and she’s probably thought about it far longer than you can imagine. As a male, I can say that I am proud to have lived, and worked alongside so many inspiring women, and that I have been alive to witness at first-hand the amazing obstacles, and challenges that they overcome daily. If you have the power to hire a woman, hire her. If you have the ability to empower a women, do no less.

Without women, there would be no man, literally. For myself, having a woman at home that cares for me is the greatest blessing a man could ever have. Think about this, for us men, our backs are a sensitive, vulnerable place that is unattainable without the helping hands of another. There is no substitution for a strong woman that has your back. We take for granted the simple things in life as men, even something as small as having someone there to rub lotion on your back after the shower. In summary, women can fight their own battles, but in order to win the war, they must receive more help, admiration, and appreciation from her male counterpart, like yesterday!

I am thankful for taking the time, and having the ability to write this post as a special guest blogger for MySociety. A community of creatives, artists, and entrepreneurs who aim to push the world forward, one discussion at a time.


Jay Whitley Jr.

Jay Whitley